Day 4 (Screams & COACH Bags)

7AM

I'm off work today because Baby Girl has her 2 month well visit. MJ is off as well to go downtown and watch live college basketball with the guys. I race around like the newly scatter brained mom I've become and get her all bundled up. It's a beautiful sunny day which is rare around these parts in March. I decide to go to the local outlet mall and try to find Baby Girl her first Easter Dress. MJ tells me that I may get a new COACH bag if I find one I really love out the outlet. He noticed mine is super beat up. (God, how disgusting must my handbag be when Mr. Manly Man here notices my tore up purse?) I'm elated!

10AM

I stand in line to check in at the doctor. An elderly gentleman looks at me and says "Is your baby carrier heavy?" I say it is. "How much does it weigh?" I say I don't know but it's heavy. "How much does your baby weigh?" Around 12 lbs. "Does it convert into a stroller?" Yes. "Things sure are more complicated now then when my kids were babies. Then again that's before the government controlled how we raise our kids and forced us to use these baby contraptions!!" Shit, here we go. I'm pretty sure the number of babies who have flown through the windshield may have been the deciding factor on car seats, but what do I know?

Poor Baby Girl. 4 vaccines in one day. She was pissed. The doctor orders me an ultra sound for later in the day to check out Baby Girl's tummy. Her spit up fountains have increasingly become worse. She schedules it for 2:15. Um, excuse me, but that interferes with my COACH bag shopping... I smack myself back to reality and remember that I have a baby who comes first now. She also tells me that Baby Girl cannot eat from this moment on until after the ultra sound. This should be fun. I should have run away screaming then.

10:30AM
I stop in the Post Office because I have to overnight something to my mom in Florida. I fill the envelope with my mail. I'm standing there swinging my baby carrier back in forth to keep the baby asleep. Both people in line are having major issues and yelling at the PO workers. Don't mind me swinging this 900 lb carrier. Take your time...I need to work out anyway. Jackasses.

It's finally my turn and I tell the disgruntled PO work (as I pray he doesn't go postal-I get nervous at the PO), I need to overnight some mail. He sighs and rolls his eyes "You need this envelope" I reply: OK thanks, I'll just pay for the one I used, that's fine. "You'll need to put a new label on it too" That's fine, too. "It's going to be like $25." I get sick of the 3rd degree and finally snap at him and say: It's FINE! It's all fine, just let me send my package please! I seriously think I scared him. Look, this isn't The Jersey Shore. Don't pull your Guido attitude w/ me buddy.

11:00 AM
I tear around the outlet malls like I'm on the old game show "Super Market Sweep" I get Baby girl her Easter dress, some Yankee Candle Car jars (can't have my car smelling like spit up funk) and an adorable COACH bag. They were have a huge sale at the outlet and I scored. Sadly, I did find myself lured like Augustus Klug in Willy Wonka into the Malley's Chocolates store. I bought like 4 pieces of chocolate and pretended it was for someones Easter basket. Whose basket? I'm not so sure.

2:30 PM
I get to Children's Hospital downtown Akron. Baby Girl has been asleep this whole time and is not aware that it's been 4 hours since she last ate. Thank God for the carseat. I get to the information desk and talk to Geriatric Gerry and he has no clue where I need to go. He sends me on a wild goose chase. I end up in the wrong wing. I find another senior citizen volunteer and she sends me to the 8th floor. Wrong floor. Thankfully someone got me in the right place. I walk in there like I just got off the roller derby track. Out of breath and sweaty with a blister on my foot. Damn cute shoes again.

2:45
Of course as soon as we sit down in the waiting room and the stroller stops moving, Baby Girl cuts up. She is screaming like Faye Ray in King Kong. People are staring and glaring. I find myself telling strangers "Sorry she's here for a tummy ultrasound and hasn't eaten in 4 hours. They won't let me feed her" Then, I get mad that I'm explaining myself to strangers. Why should it matter? It's Children's Hospital for the love of God. Children cry! The receptionist who is helping one of the glaring customers comes over with some sugar water to put on Baby Girl's pacifier. She says nastily, "Maybe this will stop her screaming". I tell her they are the ones who told me not feed her. She replies "I know, but she's quite loud!" I'm about to judo chop her when we get called back for the ultra sound. Poor kid, 4 vaccines, no food, and then cold ultra sound jelly on her tummy. Not her day either.

It turns out everything is fine and she is just gorging herself which makes her puke. Great. I have a baby bulimic. Hopefully I won't need to call "Intervention"anytime soon. So, I sit in the waiting room and feed her before I leave. I see the fear in people's eyes as we enter the room as if they are saying "Oh great, here's that screaming baby again".

3:30
Baby Girl gets quiet as I feed her. As I'm reflecting on my crappy day, I take a moment to look around. Here I am at Children's Hospital in the radiation department. I notice a family of visitors who's there for their child's radiation treatment. I look over and see another very sick young girl who has gloves on her hands to prevent clawing herself. She can't speak much more than a few grunts. I look down at Baby Girl and count my blessings. Here I am bitching about my day while there are other mothers here with their sick and/or dying children. I say a silent prayer to God and thank Him.

I guess our day wasn't that bad after all.