Saturday
It's midnight on and I'm wide awake. The alarm will be going off in two hours. We have to leave the house at 3 AM to get to the airport at 4 AM. I should be sawing logs but my mind is busier than the shoe department during Nordstrom's annual sale. I'm running around showing my mother-in-law all of the ins and outs of Baby Girl's day-to-day life. She'll be watching her for half of the week and my mom will be doing the latter half.
MJ and I finally lay down at 1 AM. He immediately drifts off while my thoughts go right to deserting my baby for a whole week. Then, my mind moves to my girlfriend, Ade. She's in labor and I'm not going to get to see the baby before I leave. This saddens me because she sat with me every day in the hospital when I had Baby Girl. My brain is a strobe light switching back and forth to both things on my mind. I look at the clock and see that it's 1:30. What's the point of sleeping now? I say, "screw it" and get up and take my shower.
We pack up the car and kiss up Baby Girl as she lays there peacefully. I try not cry but feel a tear slip down my cheek. We sneak out before I breakdown Mariah Carey style. Once we're on the road we start to talk about margaritas and sunshine and I think I may recover. I get a text from Ade, who lets me know that Baby Boy has entered the world safely. Bring on the margaritas!
Due to my sleep deprivation, I'm not really sure what happened from the car ride until our layover. All I know is that we have landed in Houston and I have woken up next to a guy who oddly resembles Will.I.am from the Black Eyed Peas. I turn to him and ask "Did I try to cuddle with you?" He laughs and says "No." We leave the plane to find out that our flight is delayed and our layover is now close to 4 hours. We look on the upper level of the terminal and see the Fox Sports Bar. Score! 3 Bloody Mary's later, I'm ready to board for Cabo.
I'm now comatose due to the Bloody Mary's. I wake up on our decent to Cabo. How wonderful...the customs line is almost an hour long. I feel sweat dripping down my legs so badly I'm afraid people will thinking I'm peeing my pants. That's what I get for wearing sweats to Mexico. I look to my left and see a group of people who could double as the "Jersey Shore" cast. This should keep me entertained. As I watch the Snooki wannabe flirt w/her winner of a man, my right boob feels like it's going to burst. Not again. Why is it that my right boob is always the one? I then and there dub it "the evil twin."
We make it through customs and off to our shuttle. We are promptly dropped off at The Hilton. A gorgeous Mexican man hands me a freshly made margarita as soon as I step off the bus. This is my kind of place. We check in and head off to our room...excuse me...suite. My jaw drops. We are on the first floor w/ sliding glass doors that open up to the ocean. We have a king bed, a living area, and one hell of a bathroom. There is a giant walk-in shower along with a jacuzzi tub. This is amazing! However, my amazement quickly ends here. I lay on the marshmallow cloud of a bed and don't open my eyes until Sunday morning at 7 AM.
Sunday
I wake up to sounds of the waves crashing on beach. I forgot how wonderful that sounds. We make our way to the breakfast buffet. I wasn't quite sure what to expect for breakfast in Mexico. I find tray of crisp bacon and know I'll be okay. Everything is better with bacon in my opinion--Well except the size of my ass. After breakfast, we find our group of friends by the pool. They let us know that we have our own server for the day named Miguel. I look at him and think "Does The Hilton only employ hotties?" After a few Petron margaritas I feel compelled to ask Miguel this same question. He blushes and continues to serve me my drinks. Oddly enough, I think they become stronger.
The drinks are so strong that I wake up an hour later sprawled out on a lounge chair in a position Kendra from "The Girls Next Door" would be jealous of. Luckily, my girlfriends positioned my skirted bottoms so I looked less like a stripper and more like your average rockstar passed out. I turn and look at MJ who is eating sushi. He offers me a piece and I nearly hurl. Sushi in the 90 degree Mexican sun after 900 margaritas just wasn't turning me on. We head off to the room, sleep a few hours, and make our way to dinner. Shortly after dinner, we realize we are old and head to bed. Apparently, tying one on in the afternoon makes one too tired to party in the evening.
Monday
Monday essentially consists of MJ golfing, room service breakfast, lounging by the pool, and having fillet mignon beach side. I know...life is tough.
Tuesday AM
We decide today we will check out San Jose. Alejandro at the pool told us yesterday that there is a very chic art district in San Jose. We take a cab and ask the cabbie to drop us off in the shopping distrcit. Because it's so early in the morning, there are no other tourists here. Every person in every shop lets us know that they have the best prices in all of Mexico on jewelery. "Almost free", to be exact. This isn't the shopping district I was hoping for. A hummer drives by with military men holding machine guns. I get a lump in my throat and tell MJ I'm ready to hit the road.
Right as we go to leave a man approaches me and says, "Amiga! You look just like that American actress...what's her name?" I laugh and say "Nice try." The next thing you know he's trying to sell us time share in Riviera Maya. He points out my wedding set and says "I can tell by the size of that rock that he married you because he loves you and not because you got knocked up". WTF. OK, check please! Get me the F out of this city. We leave him calling after us and hop a cab back to The Hilton.
Tuesday PM
This is the day I realize that I maybe drinking margaritas in the sun isn't such a great idea. We meet our friends by the pool and Miguel is bringing out the Petron margaritas left and right. I'm sucking them down like lemonade. I'm in denial that I'm drunk. You would think the fact that I keep yelling: "There's a dance party in my head, come join me!" would clue me in.
MJ and I decide to go for a walk on the beach. I take a graceful tumble down the stairs and onto the rocky beach. I laugh as though it was the funniest thing since Kathy Griffin. I brush myself off and ignore the stream of blood gushing from my knee. We walk along the shore and I realize I have lost my Coach wristlet. This is bad because it has my money, ID, and room key. MJ and I get into an argument fueled by the alcohol on the beach. Nothing big like Bobby and Whitney, but an argument none the less. I find my wristlet and storm off to the room w/ my bloody knee trail behind me.
The argument continues when we realize it's time to Skype Baby Girl. I see her adorable little face and gummy smile. I melt down. I have to walk away from the computer screen before MJ calls the mental ward. MJ ends the Skype call and we continue to have a war of the words. I say some horribly mean things to MJ. I don't know who I am right now. The words escape me as if I have no control over my voice. I end up hurting his feelings beyond belief. He leaves the room for dinner and I stay behind.
At first, I feel angry. Then, I feel horrible. I get dressed and try to find him. He's not at the dinner and I start to worry. I ask a few people if they have seen him and they said they did, but now he's gone. Before my friends turn into Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys trying to find him, I realize where he is. I thank them for their help and go back to the beach. I find MJ sitting there somber watching the waves crash. We have a heart to heart. I apologize. He accepts even though he's still badly bruised and battered by my earlier words. We walk back up to the room and call it a night. I swear off drinking that much again the rest of the trip.
It's midnight on and I'm wide awake. The alarm will be going off in two hours. We have to leave the house at 3 AM to get to the airport at 4 AM. I should be sawing logs but my mind is busier than the shoe department during Nordstrom's annual sale. I'm running around showing my mother-in-law all of the ins and outs of Baby Girl's day-to-day life. She'll be watching her for half of the week and my mom will be doing the latter half.
MJ and I finally lay down at 1 AM. He immediately drifts off while my thoughts go right to deserting my baby for a whole week. Then, my mind moves to my girlfriend, Ade. She's in labor and I'm not going to get to see the baby before I leave. This saddens me because she sat with me every day in the hospital when I had Baby Girl. My brain is a strobe light switching back and forth to both things on my mind. I look at the clock and see that it's 1:30. What's the point of sleeping now? I say, "screw it" and get up and take my shower.
We pack up the car and kiss up Baby Girl as she lays there peacefully. I try not cry but feel a tear slip down my cheek. We sneak out before I breakdown Mariah Carey style. Once we're on the road we start to talk about margaritas and sunshine and I think I may recover. I get a text from Ade, who lets me know that Baby Boy has entered the world safely. Bring on the margaritas!
Due to my sleep deprivation, I'm not really sure what happened from the car ride until our layover. All I know is that we have landed in Houston and I have woken up next to a guy who oddly resembles Will.I.am from the Black Eyed Peas. I turn to him and ask "Did I try to cuddle with you?" He laughs and says "No." We leave the plane to find out that our flight is delayed and our layover is now close to 4 hours. We look on the upper level of the terminal and see the Fox Sports Bar. Score! 3 Bloody Mary's later, I'm ready to board for Cabo.
I'm now comatose due to the Bloody Mary's. I wake up on our decent to Cabo. How wonderful...the customs line is almost an hour long. I feel sweat dripping down my legs so badly I'm afraid people will thinking I'm peeing my pants. That's what I get for wearing sweats to Mexico. I look to my left and see a group of people who could double as the "Jersey Shore" cast. This should keep me entertained. As I watch the Snooki wannabe flirt w/her winner of a man, my right boob feels like it's going to burst. Not again. Why is it that my right boob is always the one? I then and there dub it "the evil twin."
We make it through customs and off to our shuttle. We are promptly dropped off at The Hilton. A gorgeous Mexican man hands me a freshly made margarita as soon as I step off the bus. This is my kind of place. We check in and head off to our room...excuse me...suite. My jaw drops. We are on the first floor w/ sliding glass doors that open up to the ocean. We have a king bed, a living area, and one hell of a bathroom. There is a giant walk-in shower along with a jacuzzi tub. This is amazing! However, my amazement quickly ends here. I lay on the marshmallow cloud of a bed and don't open my eyes until Sunday morning at 7 AM.
Sunday
I wake up to sounds of the waves crashing on beach. I forgot how wonderful that sounds. We make our way to the breakfast buffet. I wasn't quite sure what to expect for breakfast in Mexico. I find tray of crisp bacon and know I'll be okay. Everything is better with bacon in my opinion--Well except the size of my ass. After breakfast, we find our group of friends by the pool. They let us know that we have our own server for the day named Miguel. I look at him and think "Does The Hilton only employ hotties?" After a few Petron margaritas I feel compelled to ask Miguel this same question. He blushes and continues to serve me my drinks. Oddly enough, I think they become stronger.
The drinks are so strong that I wake up an hour later sprawled out on a lounge chair in a position Kendra from "The Girls Next Door" would be jealous of. Luckily, my girlfriends positioned my skirted bottoms so I looked less like a stripper and more like your average rockstar passed out. I turn and look at MJ who is eating sushi. He offers me a piece and I nearly hurl. Sushi in the 90 degree Mexican sun after 900 margaritas just wasn't turning me on. We head off to the room, sleep a few hours, and make our way to dinner. Shortly after dinner, we realize we are old and head to bed. Apparently, tying one on in the afternoon makes one too tired to party in the evening.
Monday
Monday essentially consists of MJ golfing, room service breakfast, lounging by the pool, and having fillet mignon beach side. I know...life is tough.
Tuesday AM
We decide today we will check out San Jose. Alejandro at the pool told us yesterday that there is a very chic art district in San Jose. We take a cab and ask the cabbie to drop us off in the shopping distrcit. Because it's so early in the morning, there are no other tourists here. Every person in every shop lets us know that they have the best prices in all of Mexico on jewelery. "Almost free", to be exact. This isn't the shopping district I was hoping for. A hummer drives by with military men holding machine guns. I get a lump in my throat and tell MJ I'm ready to hit the road.
Right as we go to leave a man approaches me and says, "Amiga! You look just like that American actress...what's her name?" I laugh and say "Nice try." The next thing you know he's trying to sell us time share in Riviera Maya. He points out my wedding set and says "I can tell by the size of that rock that he married you because he loves you and not because you got knocked up". WTF. OK, check please! Get me the F out of this city. We leave him calling after us and hop a cab back to The Hilton.
Tuesday PM
This is the day I realize that I maybe drinking margaritas in the sun isn't such a great idea. We meet our friends by the pool and Miguel is bringing out the Petron margaritas left and right. I'm sucking them down like lemonade. I'm in denial that I'm drunk. You would think the fact that I keep yelling: "There's a dance party in my head, come join me!" would clue me in.
MJ and I decide to go for a walk on the beach. I take a graceful tumble down the stairs and onto the rocky beach. I laugh as though it was the funniest thing since Kathy Griffin. I brush myself off and ignore the stream of blood gushing from my knee. We walk along the shore and I realize I have lost my Coach wristlet. This is bad because it has my money, ID, and room key. MJ and I get into an argument fueled by the alcohol on the beach. Nothing big like Bobby and Whitney, but an argument none the less. I find my wristlet and storm off to the room w/ my bloody knee trail behind me.
The argument continues when we realize it's time to Skype Baby Girl. I see her adorable little face and gummy smile. I melt down. I have to walk away from the computer screen before MJ calls the mental ward. MJ ends the Skype call and we continue to have a war of the words. I say some horribly mean things to MJ. I don't know who I am right now. The words escape me as if I have no control over my voice. I end up hurting his feelings beyond belief. He leaves the room for dinner and I stay behind.
At first, I feel angry. Then, I feel horrible. I get dressed and try to find him. He's not at the dinner and I start to worry. I ask a few people if they have seen him and they said they did, but now he's gone. Before my friends turn into Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys trying to find him, I realize where he is. I thank them for their help and go back to the beach. I find MJ sitting there somber watching the waves crash. We have a heart to heart. I apologize. He accepts even though he's still badly bruised and battered by my earlier words. We walk back up to the room and call it a night. I swear off drinking that much again the rest of the trip.
sometimes we need to be hit on the head before we realize how wonderful life can really be and how special the people in it are.
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